“Here I am, on the road again…” - Bob Seger, Turn the Page
Last time, on 24, our hero got shit canned from his job and his financial status was in peril…
The following takes place between 09:44 and 10:44 on the morning of the college football season opener.
To play catchup, my company’s contract in St. Louis (actually Scott AFB) got bought out and I was jobless. One week later, my bitch of a girlfriend breaks up with me. So, without getting too emo and asking Stained to come out on stage and sing me one of their shitty songs, let’s just say I blew town.
Now residing in the DC area (Virginia side yo), I have the perfect job for sports blogging one could ask. I have no office, my job is 100% travel and my hours are whenever I feel like working. Yea, for the last few months I probably could have done daily entries, but fuck, I had no inspiration. My best goes out to all my fellow writers out there, as I honestly had jack shit to talk about when both football and basketball’s (he said “balls”) season are done and there is nothing on TV aside from fuckass baseball (well there’s F1 and Tennis but nobody actually gives a shit about them aside from me).
Anyway, enough is enough and we’re I’m back (as Amaysing has been AWOL for, fuck ever, haven’t even talked to him in like three weeks, dude must be wicked busy or something).
Yesterday I was checking out Yahoo.com for the upcoming college football games (cause ESPN.com is way too sluggish and Yahoo.com has some type of hatred for Reggie Bush that I find hilarious anyway), when I came across an article about Robert Downey Jr. finding Batman too complicated. And I quote:
“I get it. This is so high brow and [expletive] smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie”
Robert, it’s Bat fucking Man. Retards and 10 year olds can follow this but you’re carrying on like you’re watching 12 Monkeys or some shit. Jesus, I know you did a lot of blow but so did Belushi and he had no problems with Animal House and The Blues Brothers (both of which are on the same level, intellectually, as Batman).
-Rubix cubes? Complicated.
-Bush getting re-elected? Baffling.
-Those cryptic patterns of symbols the Zodiac Killer kept sending to the police? Mind boggling.
-Batman? You’re a dumbshit.
The only thing I found confusing about The Dark Knight was why everyone deems it necessary to give Heath Ledger sloppy blowjobs just because he’s dead. Honestly, fuck him. Just like Sean Taylor, there will be no posthumus handjobs here. RIP? Sure. Oscar worthy? Fuck off.
For those of you who have not seen this dumbass comic book movie but are hellbent on wasting 3 hours of your life on it, first watch a bunch of Lewis Black. Heath constantly rips off Lewis’ body language the whole film, to the point of outright plagiarism.
Enough with Robert the Retard and Heath the Corpse, college football kicks off today. Finally we will have something else to see on SportsCenter aside from MLB and Brett Favre sightings. Games to watch? Aside from Random ShitSchool vs Other Random ShitSchool, we have Stanford vs Oregon State and NC State vs the South Carolina Cawks. I dont know about you folks but I’m definitely ditching work early to get obliterated before these games.
Tomorrow: More curse words with sports topics tossed in intermittently and also the BIWMB (been a long time coming).
