“Good day, how you do
as I say with a smile to you
Dont want to waste, waste your breath
And I wont waste my hate on you…”
-Metallica
Before you continue to read, you will find this totally pointless if you are immature to the point of not being able to admit you can tell if a male is good looking or not. If you have extreme homophobia or you are totally insecure with yourself, feel free to go surf Tim Hardaway’s website or something.
About six months ago I was sitting outside the Ramstein AB base exchange with my buddy Ben when I told him to look around at the couples that were walking to and from there. After about five minutes, I asked him if he noticed any kind of trend. Puzzled, he said he didnt know what he was looking for. I told him, “You dont notice that just about every guy is with a girl that is uglier than he is?”
The above is something I’ve noticed for quite some time, and the reason is no mystery. Sit back for a moment and I’ll elaborate and explain how this came to be.
Its no common myth that males reach their sexual peak far earlier than women, yet mother nature/God/Allah/etc had to have had a hearty laugh at the male gender when aligning the rapid incline of sexual desire to coincide with the epic hormone battle that is puberty. It’s at that exact moment when the battle for you, the male, is lost.
In grade school, you hated girls. They had coodies and they were absolutely not allowed in the tree house (or fort if you were extra manly as a child). They’d send you valentines and you’d look at it, turn red, crumble it up and turn to your best pal and say, “Hey, its candy…”
Fast forward to high school… Here the hormone battle is in full effect. The chemical warfare offensive launched as you pupate into an adult tears at you daily. If thats not bad enough, for most teenage males, sex is affirmation. You’re not manly unless you’re getting laid. You’re not cool unless you have a girl friend. Juvenile? Sure, but try explaining that to a bunch of testosterone laden fucks who’s daily thoughts would rival a Bang Bro’s film.
So there you are, the average male, stuck in a battlefield of hormones and peer-pressure. Time to get some hot piece of ass and prove your existence to your fellow man, right? Wrong, wrong! You’re nearly 20 years too early. Females wont have the same drive that is rampaging through your system for another couple decades. Time to take what you can get, so you knock out a couple females that are about 5-6 status. You’ve done it, you’ve proved you’re a man. You got laid, way to go! Oops, your friends caught you out in public with a 6, but you discard her like the grade school valentine, shrug and mutter, “Hey, its pussy…” Your friends laugh it up, high five you a bit, and all the while you have no idea you just contributed to the degeneration of society.
While you were out “getting yours”, you had no idea that you were being watched. Men are extremely competitive, yet this level bows before the competitiveness that women bring to the table. Women buy magazines and then puke to look like what they see, they gossip and spread rumors about others because they are interested in how they stack up against the rest of their rivals, but if there is something that women do best, its observe.
In Vegas, they employ statistical experts to set the over/under on games that folks bet on, women have this type of system too. As I stated before, you were being watched, you were setting a benchmark. They see you, a 7, out with a 5-6, and they think, “Hey, I’m a 7, so I should be able to pull an 8-9″ (and it scales up accordingly).
It may sound like I’m castigating the female gender, but its just the opposite… Men are fucking retarded. At that age we have no grasp of inflation or supply and demand. We dont know that we’re flooding a market that has little demand or desire for dick (or at least little desire compared to what is pulsating in our cranium/pants). We cause each generations great depression, doomed to mediocrity for the masses because of our own selfish reasons and the need to be “cool”. Way to go fuckers! Women get a completely asinine sense of self inflation, men get to buy porn and wash crusty socks. Men are the Hispanics that were fucked over because we all agreed to sign NAFTA.
Last weekend I was at a club in downtown St. Louis with a few friends. This was the start of the college football season, so I told them I was going to go sit at the bar for a while and check the updates and such. Anyway, a couple Bud Lights into my ESPN gorge fest (I dont have a TV, so I have to ingest as much as possible where it is available), the quite attractive female sitting next to me turns to me and says in an obnoxious tone, “If you buy a girl a drink, do you expect her to talk to you,” she then pointed to the guy who bought the drink residing in her hand.
Now, the smooth thing to do would have been to say something like, “Not if he buys you a drink and you talk to me.” Instead I replied with, “How about you extend a fucking slab of courtesy and at least thank the motherfucker.”
Now, dont get me wrong, I’m all about people having self confidence, but when folks get to the point where they think they are better than everyone just because of their “looks”, I dont fold like society does. I refuse to further corrupt a completely broken system by indulging someones delusions of grandeur. I dont give a shit who you are, if you buy me a beer, I’ll at least go give you a cheers…
