Archive for the 'USC' Category

Finally Fucking Friday…

“It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds…” Doc Holiday, Tombstone

With Duke not getting knocked off, we’re going to have to wait till the next round before anything about the Tournament gets discussed. Yea, I could go on and on about how USC and OJ “SLAM Magazine has been sucking my dick for years” Mayo got trashed by Beastley and Kansas State, but it’s really not all that fun (well, not nearly as fun as it was trashing USC when the lost to Texas in the National Championship).

Yea, honestly, aside from the smack talk going on between Deshawn Stevenson and Lebron, or The Big CamelGut refusing to tell his kid that the Oklahoma City Sonics exist (pending move completion), there really isnt anything going on right now (or at least until 11:15 Central).

Ok folks, time to put this week to rest, it’s BIWMB time…

Let’s go ahead and address an issue right now. I’m fucked up and have problems. I can’t get off this Swedish kick… They’re too easy to find and far too fuckable. Whenever I win the lottery or a wealthy relative kicks off and leaves me a shitload of cash, I swear to God that I’m moving there and I’m going to run through that whole fucking nation.

The BIWMB for this week (yea, we had one earlier, but that was a make-up for last weeks miss), is Angelica Jansson from Sweden. Let me tell you, the other Swedish women I put on here like to take pictures, but Angelica goes apeshit with it. She has more pictures taken in one month than I’ve taken my whole life. I didnt even get to January of this year before I had several sufficient pictures to share. And yea, like the rest of these Swedish chicks, she looks like she’s dating a douchebag who wouldn’t even get 6-status puss in the states. Bravo…

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Chick in the middle is her roommate right now…

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Until next week motherfuckers, I’m out.

You asked for it…

“It’s like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!” - Captain Murphy, Sealab 2021

Congratulations fuckers!  Way to waste my college football season…   I’m really surprised that Amaysing didn’t do a write up on the LSU victory, or maybe after the text he sent me last night, he just gave up on watching that fuckhole fiesta too.   Me?  I didn’t watch that shit at all…  You think I’m going to spend my time watching a team that lost to Kentucky and Arkansas (who went on to get bastardized by pathetic ass Mizzou), take on a team that lost to Illinois (who, using blood as lubrication, got their anus eviscerated by USC)?  Fuck off…

 
If Kirk Herbstreet hadn’t outed me early about the Michigan shit, I might have
gotten to eat your children every year Tressel…

I wasted too many minutes of my precious life watching the other stupid ass BCS contests (homo Rainbow Warriors and the worthless ass Illini) to be stupid enough to think that Ohio State could pull off a victory.  All of LSU could have snapped their legs like Willis fucking McGahee and Ohio State still would have choked like bitches.  Yes, last night, while millions of viewers were dumbfucking it up and watching that stupid shit, just know that I was at home, watching the Bones season 2 DVD’s with my roommate.  Yea, I was watching dumbass Bones instead of football, and I’m not the idiot here…

 Anyway, in more important info, here is another edition of BIWMB (Blogger I Wouldn’t Mind Banging).  Today’s is quite the gem, found through boredom and by wasting far too much time.  Erin McKinnon (http://erin-mckinnon.blogspot.com/) of Daytona Beach, Florida was the winner of Maxim’s “Hometown Hottie” contest, or something… I don’t really read Maxim (wtf is the point of paying for the magazine when the internet is jam packed with hotter, naked’er women), so I cant really elaborate on how she crushed the competition with her DSL’s or tight ass body, but I can say that she has some fucking awesome DSL’s and a tight ass body.

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Worst Hall of Fame wide receiver of the modern area…

“DON’T be givin’ it the big fucking innocent with me pal, because I’m NOT a fucking prick!” - Shanks, Layer Cake

I’m going to give you a series of stats, you pick the hall of famer out of the bunch.  Both were three time probowlers, both only led the league in a receiving category once, both were only in the top 10 receivers in stats three times and both are not in the top 50 of all time.

 Receiver 1
—————-
-10 year career, 7 year starter
-Two 1000 yard seasons
-One 100 reception season
-6334 total receiving yards
-50 total receiving TD’s
-535 total receptions

Receiver 2
—————
-9 year career, 7 year starter
-Two 800 yard seasons
-One 61 reception season
-Two seasons with 11 touchdowns
-5462 total receiving yards
-51 total receiving TD’s
-336 total receptions

Based off this, who do you think the Hall of Famer is?  Neither is not an option unfortunately, as the dumbfucks who vote already put one of these douchebags in…

Receiver number 1 is Haywood Jeffires

 

Receiver number 2 is the dickface known as Lynn Swann

No, this is not a sympathy ploy to say that Haywood should be in the hall, far from it in fact.  This is to point out how brutally mediocre Lynn was.

Bleh, but floh, Lynn helped win superbowls!  Yea, and the motherfucker was on a dynasty team, led by an outstanding defense.  Swann got attention because he was on the Steelers, nothing more. He was never close to being the most dominating WR of his time, which is what HoF representatives are supposed to be.  Lynn is the most pathetic WR of his time in the Hall of Fame. He played 9 seasons and couldnt rack up more than 5500 yards receiving… Awesome. Lynn is the Drazen Petrovich of the NFL Hall of Fame, he got in because the voters are morons. This is the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Good Teammates.

Hobbes2dof the 49ers message board had this to add:

Just for fun here is a ratio of TD’s per catch for some WR’s when compared to Swann:Swann: Averaged a TD every 6.6 catches in 115 games.Stallworth: Averaged a TD every 8.5 catches in 165 games.

Rice: Averaged a TD every 7.9 catches in 303 games

Carter: Averaged a TD every 8.5 catches in 234 games.

Owens: Averages a TD every 6.8 catches through 169 games.

Harrison: averages a TD every 8.5 catches through 175 games.

Moss: averages a TD every 6.4 catches through 149 games.

Brown: averaged a TD every 10.9 catches in 255 games.

Largent: averaged a TD every 8.2 catches in 200 games.

Hutson: averaged a TD every 4.9 catches in 116 games.

Maynard: averaged a TD every 7.2 catches in 186 games.

Reed: averaged a TD every 10.9 catches in 227 games.

Alworth: averaged a TD every 6.4 catches in 136 games.

Warfield: averaged a TD every 5 catches in 157 games.

So while looking at this cumulative stats we know that Swann isn’t in the top 50, but obviously that is deceiving based on how often he scored when he did touch the ball. Now tell me he’s not HOF worthy. The only guys with a better ratio are Lance Alworth, Paul Warfield, Don Hutsonand Randy Moss.

Yea, thats all well and good, but when the guy averages under 40 catches a season, that TD to catch ratio becomes less of a selling point. I mean, 40 catches, how hard is that? Less than 4 per game… So what you’re trying to sell me is that he got “quality” catches instead of “quantity“. Well, if we were at a bar talking about chicks, this may fit into the equation, but since were talking about football here, quantity is extremely important.

Coming up huge in the superbowl isnt all that great when your overall career was luke-warm. Yea, it’s the superbowl, but when it boils down to it, thats just one fucking game (be it a big one). Desmond Howard and Dexter Jackson are superbowl MVP’s too, should they be put in the hall? Joseph Addai had 10 catches in the last superbowl, thats like over 1/4th of Swann’s average per year, should he be a lock?

Hobbes also had this to add:

Swann was a dominating player, when it mattered most in the postseason and Super Bowl. And even in the regular season as evidenced by him leading the league in TD’s his first year as a starter in 1975.

You bring up the fact that he led the league in TD’s his first year as a starter as evidence that he was a “dominant” player. What you left out was that was the only year he ever led the league in ANYTHING. The guy was a 3 time probowler, that is pathetic alone for a HoF’er. Those three times was also the ONLY time he ever came into the top 10 in receiving categories.

So, lets add this up. You have a guy who played for 9 years right? 3 of those years he came in the top 10 for receiving stats. That would mean that for 2/3rds of Lynn Swann’s career, he was not even the 10th best receiver in the league. How can there be a case for a guy that for 66% of his career he was not even close to being one of the greatest of his time?  Answer:  Cumulative stats.  Wait a minute… He sucks in that department too…

Swan was an above average, to good WR. I’ll give him that… Hall of Famer? No chance in hell.

Crazy Weekend in Sports

“I love this cornbread so much I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.”

-Tracy Morgan

Ah, the weekend before Thanksgiving. A time for giving thanks.

Houston Dynamo - 2. New England Revolution - 1.

It feels good for a Boston team to not win everything this year. This gives us one less thing for the media and Boston bandwagoners to talk about. Normally, I don’t care about American soccer; yet, this was a pretty good game. Khano Smith did his best Zidane impersonation after he didn’t get a call from the ref and a Houston player started giving him a hard time for it. He may be my favorite player between those two teams but he looks like an idiot for helping his team lose with the yellow card.

Zidane

“So what if we lost the cup, I kept it real”

On another note, what the hell is going on in College Football? The Coaches’ Poll hasn’t been released as of this post, but Kansas is the number two team in the nation! I can’t wait for this weeks’ BCS standings to come out. Another thing I can’t understand is USC’s ranking. Normally this team is a formidable opponent for any of their PAC-10 counterparts but am I seriously going to believe that they can beat Florida, Texas or even Ron Zook’s Illinois? Yea, right. I know what this is all about. What reporter wouldn’t want to cover a USC story in Los Angeles where they make special order plastic, silicone models ready to do anything for ‘fame.’ Hell, I am thinking of selling out right now to get out to Los Angeles for some of that action. If we live in a society where Jenn Sterger gets fame and a gig as a writer on Sports Illustrated for her looks, I know I could get in on that groupie action if I was on the USC campus.

Jenn Sterger

There are two faces in this picture. Can you find them?

The biggest matchup should be Georgia and LSU in the SEC championship game in Atlanta. This home game for the Bulldogs will help this greatly. I expect the final score to be LSU 24 Georgia 20. The margin of error on this prediction is plus or minus 7 depending on the amount of times Chris Fowler calls LSU the ‘Bayou Bengals.’

Stay tuned for a future rant about McNabb being injured again, the Saints impregnable running game, and the Colts barely winning games.