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Finally Fucking Friday…

Published by flohtingPoint on March 21, 2008 in fff, BIWMB and USC. 1 Comment

“It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds…” Doc Holiday, Tombstone

With Duke not getting knocked off, we’re going to have to wait till the next round before anything about the Tournament gets discussed. Yea, I could go on and on about how USC and OJ “SLAM Magazine has been sucking my dick for years” Mayo got trashed by Beastley and Kansas State, but it’s really not all that fun (well, not nearly as fun as it was trashing USC when the lost to Texas in the National Championship).

Yea, honestly, aside from the smack talk going on between Deshawn Stevenson and Lebron, or The Big CamelGut refusing to tell his kid that the Oklahoma City Sonics exist (pending move completion), there really isnt anything going on right now (or at least until 11:15 Central).

Ok folks, time to put this week to rest, it’s BIWMB time…

Let’s go ahead and address an issue right now. I’m fucked up and have problems. I can’t get off this Swedish kick… They’re too easy to find and far too fuckable. Whenever I win the lottery or a wealthy relative kicks off and leaves me a shitload of cash, I swear to God that I’m moving there and I’m going to run through that whole fucking nation.

The BIWMB for this week (yea, we had one earlier, but that was a make-up for last weeks miss), is Angelica Jansson from Sweden. Let me tell you, the other Swedish women I put on here like to take pictures, but Angelica goes apeshit with it. She has more pictures taken in one month than I’ve taken my whole life. I didnt even get to January of this year before I had several sufficient pictures to share. And yea, like the rest of these Swedish chicks, she looks like she’s dating a douchebag who wouldn’t even get 6-status puss in the states. Bravo…

Chick in the middle is her roommate right now…

Until next week motherfuckers, I’m out.

Back in the swing of things…

Published by flohtingPoint on March 18, 2008 in BIWMB, NFL and NBA. 4 Comments

“You will do as the Scorpions have done before you!” - Er, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Fear not my ~~four~~ multitude of readers, for Horsetoothed.com is back in full effect. Yes, even now, I can hear the triumphant rejoice, loud enough to topple the walls of Jericho, about such an occasion. To be cliche for a moment, and state something every rapper on earth says at least once each album, thats right, “we’re back” (and when I mean “we’re back” I really mean “I’m back and Amaysing will type something once a month, like a blogtastic menstruation”).

Hanging out in ‘Bama and then fucking off all last week was fun, but now it’s time to return to what we do best, bitching about sports related shit and announcing fellow bloggers we’d love to defile like a Bang Bro’s film.

Lets see, what’s happened since we’ve been gone:

-Larry Fitzgerald reworked a new deal with the Cardinals, 4 years, 40 million (30 guaranteed), assuring the fact that he’ll get injured, then go to another team and be productive.

- The Oakland Raiders have acquired DeAngelo Hall and Javon Walker, thus assuring the fact that their cap space will be as fucked up as the New York Knicks has been for several years. Especially since they have the fourth pick in the draft this year.

-Johnathan Stewart, former Oregon Ducks running back has a boo-boo on his toe, leaving him out four to six months and saving some team from vastly overpaying him.

-Sam Cassell nailed a three last night in crunch time to give the Celtics a victory over San Antonio. The shot also gave ESPN another reason to think that Boston is anything other than playoff fodder. Sure, they’ll make it past the first round and perhaps the second, but the moment they cross spears with Detroit (the only real team from the East), they’re going to get abused.

-The Atlanta Hawks are in the playoff race in the East.

-Wait, what? The Atlanta Hawks?

-Yea, at 29-38, the Hawks are the 8th seed right now. Other championship quality teams from the east include the 33-33 Washington Wizards and the 33-34 Philadelphia 76ers.

-Over in the West, no team below 40 wins is in the playoff hunt.

-Nobody gives a fuck about these bullets, they just want to see the BIWMB that I didn’t post Friday because I’m a lazy asshole.

So, without further adieu, I present you with this weeks first BIWMB (I still have one planned for Friday too, I’m just playing catchup).

This days BIWMB (Blogger I Wouldn’t Mind Banging) is Julya Satir from Stockholm, Sweden. Yea, I fell back into it, Sweden called me right back. I hunted and hunted for something elsewhere, but when I saw this gorgeous piece of ass I could not help myself. With a fantastic rack and lips that look like they could latch on to your manhood like a vice, who wouldn’t want to conquer that?

Finally Fucking Friday

Published by flohtingPoint on March 7, 2008 in fff and BIWMB. 2 Comments

It’s about motherfucking time, this week has dragged on like no other and I can finally put the last nail the coffin and bury this son of a bitch. Anyway, a few links to highlight this week and then move onto the BIWMB.

Monday: How Raiders Fans Are Conceived, by The Hater Nation

Tuesday: One Thing that New Sonics Website Doesn’t Have, by TrueHoop

Wednesday: Light the Boots and Files, by Free Darko

Thursday: Dmitri Paints His Teeny Little Fingernails, by Mr. Irrelevant

Friday: Friday Mail-in, by The Money Shot

BIWMB (Blogger I Wouldn’t Mind Banging) for the week of March 3rd - March 7th

Ok… So recently I’ve been tearing through Sweden, finding wonderful surgically enhanced bitches and, to take from Dennis Green a moment, crowning their asses. With all this reckless harvesting going on, I believe that I’ve depleted that poor Scandinavian country of its further use to me.

Today’s BIWMB is Himeyusura, from Japan. Now I’ve watched enough Japanese porn and visited the country enough to know that a whole shitload of the women there pack monster bushes, whole fucking groves and orchards if you will, so we’re going to just assume she comes with her own bottle of Nair. Himeyusura works as a… fuck I dunno, showgirl of some sort, or maybe she’s in a band, or… yea fuck if I know… I do know that you could definitely get pretty fucking busy with her, cause she looks like she’s into choking and shit.

Don’t ask me what’s up with the tats. I’ve seen some
pics of her w/out them, and some with, so I don’t know
if they’re permanent or not… Either way, fuck it,
I’m not getting engaged.

Throwing up the universal “Yea, I eat puss and wouldn’t
mind if you brought one of my friends to bed” sign.

I have no fucking clue what the fuck she’s
doing, but I can’t say that I don’t like it.

Until Monday, I’m out.

BIWMB’s, Past and Present

Published by flohtingPoint on February 29, 2008 in BIWMB. 9 Comments

“I am not in Rome, Doug. I am in a rush.” - Franky Four Fingers, Snatch

Another busy ass day, but as promised, I’ll hold to my two BIWMB’s for this week.

At this time, I’d like to address the history of the BIWMB (Blogger I Wouldn’t Mind Banging). The BIWMB was birthed from pure boredom (much like this blog, and just about everything else I do). Instead of, you know, actually working at work, I’d sit and browse Saint Louis’ bloggers, just to see what my city had to offer. After finding a guy who subtly tells you how to be a jerk and get a way with it (or thats what I read into the article I scoped a few months back) and a few morons, I stumbled upon BIWMB number 1.

Name: Dori

Location: Saint Louis, MO

Last Update: Never. Her cleverly named “Oh Dur” blog is jam packed with doodly fuck.

BIWMB Status: Still bangable, yet way out of her league compared to the European chicks. In fact, she’s way fucking out of her league everywhere… Fuck it, I’ll need a sixpack.

Current Pic:

BIWMB #2

Name: Meagan Marcotte

Location: Phoenix, AZ

Last Update: Never updated since original BIWMB post. Maybe died from her crazy yoga poses.

BIWMB Status: If not dead, or with the douchebag folding her in half in the pic below, still bangable.

Current Pic:

BIWMB #3

Name: Erin McKinnon

Location: Daytona Beach, FL

Last Update: Hmm, so far the BIWMB looks like a jinx. All the blogs have died on or around my original post date. Her last post is one day after she was listed as a BIWMB, Jan 9th.

BIWMB Status: Are you serious? Extremely fuckable.

Current Pic:

BIWMB #4

Name: Manuela Pastore

Location: Palermo, Italy

Last Update: Ah, some life. Last updated on the 27th of Feb.

BIWMB Status: ANGRY!!!! She left me a little hate-a-gram on this blog which provoked immediate laughter. Still bangable.

Current Pic:

BIWMB #5

Name: Alyssa Andrews

Location: Phoenix, AZ

Last Update: Since becoming my “Phoenix is far better than Boston” girl, she gave up her blog.

BIWMB Status: I wouldn’t toss her out of bed if she busted ass.

Current Pic:

BIWMB #6

Name: Josefina Lundberg

Location: Uppsala, Sweden

Last Update: EVERY DAY! This chick is determined, and sadly, still banging the Swede’s answer to House.

BIWMB Status: Who wouldn’t?

Current Pic:

BIWMB #7

Name: Andrea

Location: Linkoping, Sweden (and so begins Sweden’s domination of BIWMB)

Last Update: Yesterday.

BIWMB Status: More so than Josefina as I haven’t noticed an ugly BF on her shoulder yet. I’m sure if I gave it time I’d find some disgusting dude who is probably supporting her financially in her pics.

Current Pic:

BIWMB #8

Name: Natacha Peyre

Location: Sweeden (still dominating)

Last Update: Everyday, just like Josefina. Here is a tad bit of an update for you folks, apparently she’s some famous model over there, even has her own wikipedia page.

BIWMB Status: Easily undisputed #1 on here…

Current Pic (she’s the one giving the peace sign)

TODAYS BIWMB!!!!

Sweden takes home the gold for the fourth straight BIWMB in a row, and they’re looking unbeatable at this moment in time. Today’s BIWMB is “Naddy” from Vastmanlan, Sweden and is not only my 4th Swede in a row, she’s also my 4th surgically enhanced one, once again showing the Horsetoothed.com does not frown on chicks that make themselves banging. Steroids? No thanks. Science? Hell yes.

On a side note, I’m moving to Sweden. I constantly see goofy looking toolbags with smoking hot women. So long shitass Saint Louis, hello Fjords.

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