“You will do as the Scorpions have done before you!” - Er, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Fear not my four multitude of readers, for Horsetoothed.com is back in full effect.  Yes, even now, I can hear the triumphant rejoice, loud enough to topple the walls of Jericho, about such an occasion.  To be cliche for a moment, and state something every rapper on earth says at least once each album, thats right, “we’re back” (and when I mean “we’re back” I really mean “I’m back and Amaysing will type something once a month, like a blogtastic menstruation”).

Hanging out in ‘Bama and then fucking off all last week was fun, but now it’s time to return to what we do best, bitching about sports related shit and announcing fellow bloggers we’d love to defile like a Bang Bro’s film.

Lets see, what’s happened since we’ve been gone:

-Larry Fitzgerald reworked a new deal with the Cardinals, 4 years, 40 million (30 guaranteed), assuring the fact that he’ll get injured, then go to another team and be productive.

- The Oakland Raiders have acquired DeAngelo Hall and Javon Walker, thus assuring the fact that their cap space will be as fucked up as the New York Knicks has been for several years. Especially since they have the fourth pick in the draft this year.

-Johnathan Stewart, former Oregon Ducks running back has a boo-boo on his toe, leaving him out four to six months and saving some team from vastly overpaying him.

-Sam Cassell nailed a three last night in crunch time to give the Celtics a victory over San Antonio.  The shot also gave ESPN another reason to think that Boston is anything other than playoff fodder.  Sure, they’ll make it past the first round and perhaps the second, but the moment they cross spears with Detroit (the only real team from the East), they’re going to get abused.

-The Atlanta Hawks are in the playoff race in the East.

-Wait, what?  The Atlanta Hawks?

-Yea, at 29-38, the Hawks are the 8th seed right now.  Other championship quality teams from the east include the 33-33 Washington Wizards and the 33-34 Philadelphia 76ers.

-Over in the West, no team below 40 wins is in the playoff hunt.

-Nobody gives a fuck about these bullets, they just want to see the BIWMB that I didn’t post Friday because I’m a lazy asshole.

So, without further adieu, I present you with this weeks first BIWMB (I still have one planned for Friday too, I’m just playing catchup).

This days BIWMB (Blogger I Wouldn’t Mind Banging) is Julya Satir from Stockholm, Sweden.  Yea, I fell back into it, Sweden called me right back.  I hunted and hunted for something elsewhere, but when I saw this  gorgeous piece of ass I could not help myself.  With a fantastic rack and lips that look like they could latch on to your manhood like a vice, who wouldn’t want to conquer that?