Another one of those “I’m too busy to do shit so I have to put Horsetoothed to the side for a day” days.
Anyway, have some spare computer cycles? Sign up for SETI@Home and help crunch code from radio telescopes looking for signals.
http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/
http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/show_user.php?userid=8740475
“It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds…” Doc Holiday, Tombstone
With Duke not getting knocked off, we’re going to have to wait till the next round before anything about the Tournament gets discussed. Yea, I could go on and on about how USC and OJ “SLAM Magazine has been sucking my dick for years” Mayo got trashed by Beastley and Kansas State, but it’s really not all that fun (well, not nearly as fun as it was trashing USC when the lost to Texas in the National Championship).
Yea, honestly, aside from the smack talk going on between Deshawn Stevenson and Lebron, or The Big CamelGut refusing to tell his kid that the Oklahoma City Sonics exist (pending move completion), there really isnt anything going on right now (or at least until 11:15 Central).
Ok folks, time to put this week to rest, it’s BIWMB time…
Let’s go ahead and address an issue right now. I’m fucked up and have problems. I can’t get off this Swedish kick… They’re too easy to find and far too fuckable. Whenever I win the lottery or a wealthy relative kicks off and leaves me a shitload of cash, I swear to God that I’m moving there and I’m going to run through that whole fucking nation.
The BIWMB for this week (yea, we had one earlier, but that was a make-up for last weeks miss), is Angelica Jansson from Sweden. Let me tell you, the other Swedish women I put on here like to take pictures, but Angelica goes apeshit with it. She has more pictures taken in one month than I’ve taken my whole life. I didnt even get to January of this year before I had several sufficient pictures to share. And yea, like the rest of these Swedish chicks, she looks like she’s dating a douchebag who wouldn’t even get 6-status puss in the states. Bravo…
Chick in the middle is her roommate right now…
Until next week motherfuckers, I’m out.
“Mint Pussy. Probably one of THE worst Ben and Jerry’s flavors ever!” - Kenny, Rescue Me
http://horsetoothed.com/worst-hall-of-fame-wide-receiver-of-the-modern-area/
Back in late November, I wrote the article above, stating that Lynn Swann has no business being in the NFL Hall of Fame (something I will hold true until my life is ripped from me). Today, we’re here to tackle another individual who should be thrown out of a Hall of Fame, the Basketball Hall of Fame.
Like with the Lynn Swann article, I’m going to give some players and their stats and you point out the hall of famer(s).
Player 1 (Center, 3rd round pick out of Notre Dame)
——————
-1068 career games
-13790 career points (12.9 ppg)
-10400 career rebounds (9.7 rpg)
-965 career blocks (.9 avg)
-84% career free throw percentage
-50% career field goal percentage
-Career PER of 16.1
-Two time NBA Champion
-Four time NBA All Star
-Led the league in rebounding one year
-12 straight double-double seasons
Player 2 (Center, 1st overall pick out of UCLA)
——————
-468 career games
-6215 career points (13.3 ppg)
-4923 career rebounds (10.5 rpg)
-1034 career blocks (2.2 avg)
-66% career free throw percentage
-52% career field goal percentage
-Career PER of 20
-Two time NBA Champion
-Finals MVP
-NBA MVP
-Sixth Man Award
-Two time NBA All Star
-Led the league in rebounding one year
-Led the league in blocks one year
-Four straight double double seasons
Player 3 (Center, 7th round pick out of Jacksonville)
——————
-1329 career games
-24941 career points (18.8 ppg)
-16330 career rebounds (12.3 rpg)
-3179 career blocks (2.4 avg)
-70% free throw percentage
-58% field goal percentage
-Career PER of 21.4
-One time ABA Champion
-ABA Playoffs MVP
-ABA MVP
-ABA All Star Game MVP
-ABA Rookie of the Year
-Five time ABA All Star
-Six time NBA All Star
-Led the ABA in four times
-Led the ABA in total blocks three times
-All time ABA total block leader (4th all time for NBA/ABA)
-13 total double-double seasons
-Averaged over 20ppg six times
Ok, who are your MVP’s?
Well, player 1 is none other than one of the former Bad Boys, Bill Laimbeer. Bill enjoyed 15 long years in the NBA, making the playoffs nine times and the finals three times (champion twice). Constantly underrated his entire career, Bill continues to be underrated as he will probably never sniff Hall of Fame consideration. In fact, the only way I see Bill ever getting into the Hall, is if he dies in some fashion that generates mass commotion (ala Sean Taylor), and then he’ll get the sympathy vote-in (the same way that Pat Tillman is getting into the College Football Hall of Fame).
Player 2 is the original Horsetooth, Bill Walton. Bill had 1 above average year and two excellent years with Portland, then he might as well have died in a plane crash. His legs gave out on him and he started hobbling all over the court (think Chris Webber, only much more crippled). Known for his Ross-like Wafro and lumberjack beard, Bill walked into the hall of fame for two reasons, John Wooden and Red Auerbach. Playing for organizations run by those two already grants you fame, but playing for both, well thats just golden. Yea, I know about his college player of the year awards, but if the Hall of Fame gave you entry for extreme college excellency, then Danny Manning should be a shoe-in.
“Give me 18 months. I’ll give you a career,” said Alonzo Harris to Jake Hoyt in Training Day, but he might as well have been speaking to Bill Walton. That short time in Portland and then playing for the Celtics gave him a free pass into the Basketball Hall of Fame and also earned him a place on Adrian Dantley’s list of people to kill.
Player 3 is the A-Train, Artis Gilmore. Despite all of Artis’ achievements, you might be surprised to know that Artis is currently ineligible for the Basketball Hall of Fame. It will be 2012 before he gets another crack at earning a place in the Naismith because for three straight years Artis received no votes at all… An 11 time All Star, MVP, Playoffs MVP and ABA Champion could not get a single vote. Through the years, Gilmore has gotten to watch fellow ABA’ers Rick Barry, Dr. J the Iceman and Connie Hawkins make their way into 1000 West Columbus Avenue, but still no love for him. Perhaps if you threw a tied-dye shirt on him, bleached his skin and had him play for two media beloved basketball teams he could squeak in…
“I say we grease this rat-fuck, son of a bitch right now” - Hudson, Aliens
During my daily early morning “hand in pants while web surfing and not doing any work” routine, I made my way to yahoo.com to see if they have any more dirt on Reggie Bush. While cruising their other news sections, I saw that the guy who directed the most boring fucking movie I’ve ever painfully sat through kicked the bucket. Fuck him, his shitass movie and his current trip down the River Styx because you know this bitch is going straight to Hades for assembling that fuck-face-fiesta.
Holy fuck that’s a shitload of arm hair…
It’s a good thing you’re dead Anthony,
as it was only a matter of time before that shit
branched out and bonded together to form massive
hairy tentacles, leaving you looking like the Cthulhu.
Anyway, in news that grown ass men actually give a fuck about, the NCAA Tournament kicks off tomorrow, but until then, we still have the NIT to look forward to… right? Wait, nope, I was wrong, people dont give a fuck about that either. Well, how about the Rockets finally losing a game after 22 straight wins? Yea, I find it hard to care about a team that is going no where in the long run too. Matt Ryan tossed the pigskin around for a while yesterday? I care more about tossing around my own pigskin while watching a Sarah Jay flick… Terrelle Pryor committed to Ohio State? Sweet, three years of overrated mediocrity and a trip or two to the National Championship where they’ll have their asses handed to them by someone from a real conference is in the near future for him.
So here it is, mark it down folks, March 19th, a date with no substance at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to ignore. Stay tuned for tomorrow, where we’ll tackle the most overrated Basketball Hall of Famer and of course Friday is BIWMB day. Until then, like Lance Bass, I’m out.